Dangerously Daydreaming

"All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible." ~ T. E. Lawrence

Dear John

(This post was originally published in 2014 and has been updated for 2015 and Super Bowl XLIX.)

Dear John*,

Superbowl Sunday is right around the corner. Can you believe it?! And I’m sure you’re just as excited as I am. My beloved Seahawks have made it to the final of all finals for the second time ever! My hubby and I have plans to hang out with friends, make some mouth-watering eats, and imbibe some ice-cold brews to celebrate the occasion.

I’m sure you’ll be doing the same, John. But with one critical difference – and it breaks my heart. You’ll be buying a girl that day as well.

What you will do – what you have done – makes me furious. Sex trafficking works off of supply and demand like anything else. And you’ve created the demand. How could you?! But then I find myself wondering if you really understand all the damage that you do. Do you understand that you are essential raping the woman (more likely underage girl) that you’ve paid for an hour of her time? Do you understand that she won’t keep a penny of the money you gave her? Do you know that she’ll be raped by ten others just like you tonight, and again tomorrow, and again after that? Do you realize that she doesn’t want to be with you, that she doesn’t enjoy sex? Do you care?

And what about the porn? John, do you realize you create demand for child sex slaves every day, every hour, every minute that you watch it? Do you know that the majority of the people on your screen have been abused, brainwashed, and coerced to create your entertainment? Do you care?

Then there’s the strip club. John, do you realize that some of those women are actually little girls caked in makeup and skimpy lingerie? Do you understand that this could be the entry level of their forced prostitution? Do you see that your presence (and funding) in such an establishment fuels the fire of sex trafficking, porn, and prostitution? Do you think objectifying women is permissible? Do you care?

Here’s the part I struggle with as I write this, John. If you continue this, with my whole heart I pray that you are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. But I also understand there are so many motivations for the destructive behavior you’re choosing. Perhaps you’re lonely, bored, a victim of past abuse. Maybe society told you that porn and strip clubs are acceptable. Maybe you’re “just being a guy”. John, please understand that I’m not out to get men here. Really and truly, I’m not looking to shame guys. Women can play an equally guilty role in this. Women can be the buyers, the sellers – and this is for them too.

My hope, my prayer, my greatest wish is that you choose to end the demand – that you step into a role as defender of the weak, protector of the downtrodden, rescuer of the abused. John, I wish so much more for you. I wish you a life free of shame, an honorable life, a life of greatness. I wish that when you place your right hand over your heart on Sunday during the National Anthem and salute a nation with liberty and justice for all that you think about those words and you choose to live them each day. Not only for the sake of the 38 million slaves around the world, but for you. Liberty and justice for you, John. That’s my dream. Please, John, end the demand.

With all my heart,


*John is the term for a client who pays for sex. They are male and female.


5 comments on “Dear John

  1. Katrina Anne Willis
    January 29, 2014

    Audrey, this is so important and so powerfully written. Thank you for taking a stand.

    • Audrey
      January 29, 2014

      Thank you, Katrina! It’s not an easy thing to write about. I never want to make being a man synonymous with being an abuser. I hope that was conveyed in this. Thanks for the encouragement. 🙂

  2. absangrey
    January 30, 2014

    Reblogged this on smalltownpittsburgh and commented:
    I saw this letter, and I thought it was a creative idea. “Dear John …” an honest letter, but one still written to a person. We’re all people walking on this earth …

  3. Pingback: Dear John | smalltownpittsburgh

  4. Pingback: Dear John … | smalltownpittsburgh

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This entry was posted on January 29, 2014 by in Human Trafficking and tagged , , , , , , , , , .
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